People ask me why I decided to open a page dedicated to those who are grieving. Well, the simplest way to explain it is, "God told me to do it".
In the darkest hours of my mourning, I reached out to God. I guess that you could say that this little chicky had been through enough that even her shoulders couldn't handle the weight any more. I've always considered myself to be a strong woman, independent, willing to try anything at least once, but the day came when everything hit at once, the hospital wanted $100,000 right away, my business was in trouble because I was frozen in fear, and it seemed that everything went wrong at the same time. After the last phone call with bad news, I broke. I went to kitchen and fell on my knees, weeping, not knowing how to make things right again, having no one that I could talk to because "I was supposed to be over this after a month". I was supposed to be the smart, strong woman and my whole world had fallen out from under me. I was lost.
I asked God if He would help me understand why my husband had died and how I could re-gain control of my life. I was drifting, unsure of my decisions, unsure of my future, and worse, I felt so alone. In His goodness, He told me to go to the bookcase and open the Bible. Which Bible?? (and have I gone crazy or is this really God talking to me??) I took a chance and picked up the Bible that my Grandmother had given me when I was 18 and it opened it to Psalm 71. When I read the words of hope and promise, they seemed directed to me and exactly what was happening in my life. He gave me hope. He led me to write a mourning journal, to help others who were going through all that I was. I tried to tell Him that I wasn't an author and that I knew nothing about writing a book, but He kept nudging. I sat down and started looking through my journal and through the tears, "Cry when you cry" was born. I have always trusted His word and will for my life and I can't help believe that if He personally tells you to do something, you'd better get on with it. =)
"Cry when you cry...and that's okay", is a mourning journal. It's for those who are in mourning and feel more comfortable "writing out their feelings" than talking about them to others, because believe it or not, after a couple of weeks people really do think that you're supposed to be over mourning for your loved one. If you're anything like me, I'd never lost a loved one before, I didn't know what to do. I remember thinking that I couldn't get through a day without him, how in the world was I supposed to get through a lifetime? I looked everywhere for a book that would help me understand what was happening, but every one that I picked up was filled with either cheesy mush or was over psychological and made no sense at all. At a time when you are that sad and exhausted, overly psychological books were incomprehensible. I just needed to know that I was going to be okay. I needed to know that what I was feeling was normal.
"Cry when you cry...", is a book that will gently guide you through the mourning process. It allows you to write out your pain and worries. After a while you will be able to look back at your words and see that you truly are getting stronger, even when it doesn't seem that you are. It helps you to understand that you aren't alone, you aren't going crazy, that your feelings are normal and although your life will never be the same, eventually your tears will fade and you will smile again.
So, the book/journal started this process and in the years since my husband's death, I've met others and am now working with them and their talents to bring you items that you won't see anywhere else.
If you are looking for a gift for yourself or for another, look here. Flowers are beautiful, but they fade in a week. This journal is a blessing that helps guide one through their darkest days. The mourning wreath is an outward message to others that you are in mourning, our limited addition necklaces keep your loved one close.
Please contact me personally if you have any questions. We will be starting a blog very soon and I hope that you will be a part of it as well. If you are on Facebook, please join our group, "For those of us who grieve", a group where you can talk to others and learn and help all of us who are experiencing the mourning process.
God bless you in your sorrow and in your healing.
Love, Jan